the beginning of a change

Now that I finally have time to blog about something, I don't have anything of actual importance to ever blog about. I wake up, get ready, go to work, come home, catch up on my missed tv shows (there are wayyy to many to name), relax for a bit, shower and go to bed. That's it. I repeat the same routine every day. I change it up a little bit on the weekends. If I'm around I try to spend a night at home and see mom and another night at colleen and matty's to see them and emma. Otherwise, I like to switch things around and take some adventures. Since being home from San Diego I have been to Jersey, Philly, back out to SD, NY, and then this coming weekend I'm headed to jersey/philly again (I want to go to many more new places...san fran, st. louis, omaha, chicago, florida, international places...so i'm always looking for someone to go on an adventure with!)

Well, today I finally came across something that I knew I needed to blog about, but before i go into my spiel, i figured i might as well update you with my life to date (yet not really that much). After a couple months of constant searching, I finally found some place that was willing to hire me. Actually, I found three all within a few days. After turning down two other jobs, I chose to begin my future employment with a company called CSN Stores. They're an online shopping store that is growing at quite a rapid rate. I work in customer service. I started off answering customers emails all day and just a few weeks ago I was moved to the phones. I work with others who are also young and have been out of college within 4 years I'd say. I also get great benefits. Who doesn't like paid vacation days, health insurance and a night out (alcohol/appetizers paid for) once a month? I've also moved out of my house and into a place in Quincy, MA.

Although I do somewhat enjoy my job, I'm not completely happy. Who says, "I want to be a Customer Service Representative when I grow up"? I highly doubt that there are many and I am definitely not one of them. I can honestly say that I really do miss being a volunteer. I miss having that, "I want to change the world and I truly believe that I can" feeling. Yes, I still want to do all that I can to change the world. Am I doing that in this position? Absolutely not. Until tonight at least. For the first time in 3 months, I truly feel as if I made a difference in someones life.

Tonight, around 8:30pm, I was counting down the time until I was about to leave. Only 30 more minutes to go. For some reason there was a decent queue so I was taking call after call, each one asking silly questions or pressing the wrong button and slowly bringing down the great close rate I built up throughout the day. At 8:30, I received a call from an older woman looking for a walker for her husband. After going over the specifications of it, she wanted to verify that this could work and said that she would call me back in 5 minutes before I left for the evening. After calling me back, so nicely within the timeframe, she said that she was ready to place her order with me over the phone. Since my new title of "Sales Consultant" after being moved to the phones, those words are the best words to hear..."i'm ready to place my order". We're evaluated on the amount of sales we can close per day and the net profit we bring in on top of a variety of other things.

This call turned out to be slightly different though. She then told me that she wanted to upgrade the shipping in order to get this item there faster. After going over the different prices of shipping costs, she explained to me why. Her husband has a severe brain problem, can no longer walk or even swallow food. His one wish of the "Make a Wish Foundation" that they have for adults is to be able to walk one last time, and this particular walker that we sell is the one thing that can make him do that.

Right there and then, I truly felt something for her and I knew I could do something. Well, I gave her my condolences and told her that I personally wanted to do all that I could to get this out of our warehouse as soon as I possibly could because I truly wanted to help her. For the first time since working there, I actually felt like I could do something to help somebody else, and I haven't felt this happy in a while. She has my direct line because she wants to find more items and place all future orders with me. And at this point I don't even care about my close rate, I just remembered that I want to change the world and realized that I could. Turns out, she lives in the San Diego area...Coronado to be exact. We found this out when placing the order and then had another conversation about how I am in love with the area and want to move out there. When she mentioned that she lived on Orange Ave. and said "like the color", I responded with "oh, I know...I frequented that street and explained to her my love for "Yogurt Escape". She told me that I should move back there. Well...maybe I will.

Funny how I take many calls a day, but this one call made me realize a variety of different things...
1. That I really do miss feeling like I am doing something to improve the world. Even in college I felt that way...like I was doing something big. Maybe I didn't completely change lives last year. I know that I helped St. Patrick's in many ways and that those kids wouldn't have had a PE or Computer teacher if it weren't for me being there. They also wouldn't have had a substitute on many days and kids wouldn't have gotten that extra help they needed after school. I didn't do anything huge at the orphanage as it wasn't my actual job. But every Saturday I made friends with those kids and I truly did something. I don't have that this year and I want that feeling back.
2. Although I like my job, I want to do something more. I want the job in non-profiits, or especially in campus ministry. I want to find time in my schedule to volunteer somewhere regularly. I need to really start applying for jobs that I know I can really make a difference in. The calls like I had tonight are few and far between. Hell, this is the first thing I've had like this in 3 months...who knows when it will happen again.
3. I want to move out to San Diego. I really really do. And not in any way to experience all that my volunteer had to offer me...but just because I truly loved the city more than anything in the world. Live there for a few months and you'll know why. One of the people who works in the AV office who was out doing cleaning with us before we left asked us on our last night "if you knew you had job in the field you wanted that was out here in San Diego, would you take it?" In a heart beat I said yes. So did 5 out of the 6 of my community members. Sure, it would be nice to see my St. Pat's kids once in a while and to head down to the orphanage, but I want to start my own new and improved life there.
4. I want to donate. Maybe it's because I'm currently reading the book Irresistible Revolution by Shane Claiborne (thank you to Kait Bevins for the wonderful book suggestion!) and I want to give everything I own up and become something/someone better. I want to do things like he did and give up everything to follow my true faith. I have decided though that I'm going to start to donate to the orphanage each month and hopefully st. pats as well. Why not give back wherever I can? I also want to donate my time which I need to look a little bit more into.

Anyways, maybe this has all been long and drawn out, but in short, I have realized that although I sometimes wish I was still a volunteer, I am doing just fine without it. I just need to learn how I can bring all of these things that I love into my life again. Slowly, I am getting there and maybe this call tonight just helped push me along a bit. Perhaps it was a call from God.