KAIROS nineteen

Well...since I have been back from Kairos for over 3 weeks now I decided the post about it should probably be up soon. Which means it is time to get writing! Kairos XIX will definitely be one of those memories from my volunteer year that I will remember for a while. Seeing as my job frustrates me beyond belief, it was nice to be able to get away from St. Pat's and PE for a week and to be able to get some time to relax.

Funny how I've been on many different retreats, yet every one of them always seems to be different. This one was different for so many reasons, but all of them very great. First of all, I was on the other side of things. Yes, I have been on retreats as a leader before, but this time I was an adult leader. I was an adult leader for the 8th grade retreat as well, but this time was different because the boys actually really cared about being there. It was different because it was ALL BOYS. a week with many 17 year old boys. But surprisingly, they all opened up and easier then I had seen people open up in the past. It was different because it was longer and much more focused on the spiritual side of things then any of my past retreats.

I can definitely say though, that out of the many retreats that I have been on, this has really been the best...which says a lot because they've all been amazing. I think it was great for me because I went into it thinking about how much I couldn't wait to have a week off of work and how I'd be there to help Emily (she is now the director of campus ministry because her boss just had a baby and she ran the entire retreat by herself!) but turns out that even as an adult leader it was just what I needed at the time. Just goes to show that God had me there for a reason.

Kairos means Lord's Time. Our week from Monday through Friday was dedicated to finding God in our life. On Monday immediately after school Emily and I headed 5,000 feet up to Palomar Mountain with the 6 student leaders. We unloaded, set some things up and began to relax. I have to say that the leadership team on this retreat was amazing. I never thought I would be able to learn a lot from high school senior boys, but I really did. They were an amazing group of six boys that I was really glad I was able to get the chance to meet and get to know pretty well. To have that openness and honesty at 17 is truly something.

After waking up on Tuesday morning we began to do some more set up things. Did a boundry breaker with the student leaders and then me, Emily and Sarah (another adult leader, one of the boys teachers) headed for a hike down to the river. It was absolutely beautiful there.

The retreatants then began to arrive and we went right into things with the theme of the evening "Who Am I?" I wish I could post the video Emily took of the student leaders doing their introduction skit because it was very very funny. Wednesdays theme was "Who is Jesus in my life?" Thursdays was "Jesus' message for me" and Fridays was "Living out the message of Christ." On past retreats we were asked to focus on ourselves, family, friends ang God. Here on Kairos though, the first night was geared toward ourselves, family and friends but the rest of the three days were focused on how Jesus is in our life. The boys were told when they got there to "Let go and let God." We learned and saw how God wants us to be there for ourselves just as much as we are there for others and that even God needed somebody to help pick Him up at times. We need to just love one another.

(Side note: Wednesday morning we woke up and there was snow on the ground and it continued to snow for the next three days! For a lot of the boys it was the first time they had seen snow so it was unbelievable to them. Fr. Bob found sleds for them and they even went running through the snow in their shorts. It was a little chilly and if I had know I would have brought more socks! It really helped make the experience for them though)

Throughout the week you spend a lot of time with a small group that remains the same. I could easily go into all that occured on the reatreat but words would never truly describe all that I or the boys experienced. There were a few experiences we had on our last night that I was even able to get a lot out of and I believe the boys in my group felt the same. One boy during an open forum that we had said it best "I've grown more in my brotherhood in these four days then I have in the past four years." I think that says something about how life changing this experience is for these boys and how they really get something out of it. I am so happy that I had the opportunity to be a part of this great experience in their life and to now become a greater part of SAINTS. I only hope that I may have helped them in even the smallest way!

Time...

Time is flying by beyond fast. A lot faster then I had imagined it would. I love my birthday and I am excited thinking about its arrival in two weeks from today, but I'm also thinking about the fact that my birthday means one month of time left in San Diego. After this week we have 6 weeks of school left. The last day of school is on June 18th. It's also the date we are to say all of our goodbyes to everyone we are close with around here by. June 19th, 20th and 21st will be spent doing intense cleaning of our house from sun up to sun down. June 22nd we fly to Philly for end of the year retreat and on the 26th we fly home. June 27th I am a free women...with nothing to do.

Yes, it is currently May 4th and I still have absolutely no idea what I am doing with my life come June 27th. I'm starting to think about applying for jobs. It's so difficult to do though with working full time. I really don't have the time or the energy to look for jobs as much as I should. I really want to live in Philadelphia. I don't know why exactly but it's something I have been thinking about for a while. Not only do they have some good non profits (the field of management I want to get into) but I just really enjoy the area. I've realized this year that I enjoy living away from home a lot. Philly is the perfect area in which I am a distance from home and on my own in a sense, but close enough that I can drive there in 8 hours if I wanted to. I'm also kind of thinking about school...haven't really figured out what yet, but the option is there. I'm thinking about getting my masters in theology, business or education. As much as teaching PE drives me crazy, I think it's mainly because of the fact that it's PE and I would really enjoy it if I could have control of the class and not be playing sports so much. Theology because I think it would be good in the non profit field. And business because well...thats why my bachelors is in! Who knows though. We will see where this next month and a half takes me!

Although this year is beginning to come to a close and it's hard not to focus on what I'm going to do next year, I'm trying to concentrate on the now and really enjoying the rest of the year before it all flys by. We have tons of community events planned...seems like we're booked until we leave! There isn't too much throughout the beginning of May. As the end roles around though on the 23rd we're headed to the wild animal park, on the 24th I'm headed to Disney Land with Mike, Anne and the 8th grade class. The 26th we're going to a padres game and June 2nd we're headed to Disney Land as a community with the tickets the priests gave us for Christmas! I think there is more as well but it's all I can think about at the moment.

As much as I am still trying to just get through the days of work, I do enjoy it all sometimes. It's by far one of the hardest things I've done in my life but definitely worth it. Sometimes the kids drive me crazy and other times I can joke around and have fun with them. Today a first grader came to hug me and told me I was the best PE teacher ever, but then I have 7th grade and have them telling me I pretty much suck. So it don't know what to think. I still have trouble controling 7th and 8th grade, but i'm seeing it now as they're never going to listen to me. 7th grade did tell me today while they weren't having PE that it's not just me, it's the volunteers in general that they don't ever listen to...so that does make me feel a bit better!

I'm proud of the fact that I have actually posted something as I was feeling it. Kairos was awesome...my post on that will hopefully be coming very soon!